What It Really Means To Submit To Your Spouse

Growing up, I use to flinch when I heard people; especially pastors say "Women should submit to their husbands". Like.. huh? What does this suppose to mean? Are they saying that women should live their lives doing as they are told and when they are told by their husbands? Are they saying that our ultimate purpose in our husband's life is to simply cater to his needs? Uh-uh, I don't think so. As a young girl who was self absorbed, my not yet developed and selfish mind would not allow me to see the bigger picture.

As I have gotten older, I have realized that the term "submission" has been perverted and misinterpreted. Ephesians 5:21 reads "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ" (NIV). Key words: ONE ANOTHER. Yes, it does read in verse 24 that wives should submit to their husbands in everything as the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. However, it also reads in vs 28 "In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies" (NIV). Ah! We haven't heard that one that often now have we? Now let's dissect this a bit.

The word submission in marriage does not mean "do as I say and when I say". It means to Honor, Respect, Love and Cherish your spouse. When a man submits to God and cherishes his wife, she will not hesitate to submit to his leadership. If a man loves his wife as he loves his own body as the scripture says, he will not misuse and abuse her nor his authority. The mission that my husband and I have as a couple is to love one another no matter what, through ups, downs thick and thin. Whether or not we feel like it. Also, to grow together spiritually, financially and help each other to accomplish our goals. As well as to always aim to out serve each other each day. Now what does it mean to out serve each other you may ask?

To out serve each other means to find every opportunity you can to do more for each other everyday. Think of one thing each day that you can do to make your spouse's day easier or brighter. Whether that is to simply bring them a hot cup of tea/coffee while they work on a project at home. Or maybe it is to give a foot massage after a long working day. Man! Who doesn't love a good foot massage! Ugh! I know, for some of us that may sound like a lot. But I can guarantee that when you practice submission and out serving each other it creates a healthy and long lasting relationship.

But heck! What do I know? I've only been married for 4 months this coming June 20th, lol. However, thus far, I have seen how this has been working for us. Not only that, but I have met and know way more mature couples who have been married for decades and this has been working for them. This along with communication; listening to understand and not just to respond. Believe it or not, this is also a form of submission.

Submission is a TWO way street. It is not only for the woman to serve her husband and do as he says, but it is for both parties in a marriage to honor, cherish and love each other selflessly with all their being and all their hearts.

Whether you are single, seriously dating or married, check out this amazing book "Positioning Yourself To Be A Wife" by Shamieka Dean.

How has submission worked in your marriage? What has been your view on submission? Leave me a comment below!

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